"The Brat Pack" -- Are kids any ruder today than they were a generation ago?

A very interesting read indeed. Sarah Mahoney, in her article "The Brat Pack" (Parents, March 2007 Issue, pp 122-126), believes that there is a "manners meltdown" for today's children. One of the main reasons is that today's busy working parents are too tired to discipline their children after a hard day's work. That aggravates the children's rude behaviour because of such "permissive" response from the parents.

Some parents are also being over-protective over their kids. They think that their kids are already stressed up in their school work and it's okay for them to be occasionally rude to them or even others instead of rebuking and correcting them. Other parents are also guilty of feeding their kids with over-sized portions of self-esteem, so much so that kids have rendered themselves more superior than other kids (even adults in some circumstances) in terms of talent and other gifted abilities. The TV media has also promoted rudeness as a cool act.

In her article, she quoted experts' advice to parents to serve as role models to our children. This in fact places the children in good stead in life compared to their peers because of their ability to show empathy to others and not to develop a self-centred approach to the world. It is said that rude children are more likely to face problems in school and even cause trouble to society when they grow up.

What is mind-boggling to me is that the choice of play toys can be influential in a child's perspective of rudeness! Toys encouraging rude behaviours include th breaking of wind from a teddy bear when pressed on its tummy (it should say "excuse me" after breaking of wind), and an ice-filled water gun that makes the squirt hurt.

Sarah also urges parents to set clear standards and communicate them consistently to the children, telling them the reasons behind the rules. For example, telling them not to interupt when someone is speaking. TV programs should be selective and limited whenever possible.

Personally, I try to be consistent in my counselling of my kids. Be real patient that you may need to keep reminding your children to say "please" and "thank you", or to sit still while dining. And you know what, I think my persistence pays off. Nowadays, Naomi and Nathan are behaving much better at meal times instead of running around. The trick is to also get our domestic helper to cooperate with you to maintain consistency in your teachings.