A salute to all Stay At Home Mums (SAHMs) and all Mothers

Havent been blogging for some time as I am really really busy. It seems that a SAHM is really not easy...a duty that I need to fulfill for 24 hours. For me, I am half a SAHM and WAHM so is a double whammy.

I really must salute all SAHMs without helpers - is really a tall order and a very challenging job indeed. I have a domestic helper and yet I am so busy ...

The other day, my husband showed me an article from Reader Digest which we thought that the author wrote it in a very humourous manner describing the qualities that made a good mother.

The qualities are :

1. Organisational skills , ability to drive and to be in two places at one time
2. Financial Skills if you have to budget for birthdays , weekly grocery shopping which was growing as fast as the kids
3. Good mathematical skills will come in handy when u are trying to divide 7 sweets among 4 kids
4.Chemistry and biology when your two year old shows you a blemish, you will have to be able to tell if it is the beginning of a flesh-eating disease or just a freckle. You will also need to know which laundry soap makes the baby itch, why the sky is blue etc
5. Good memory to remember all the birthdays, names of the stuffed animals, the child who likes peas and cant stand grape juice
6. Creativity to do the art and crafts, teaching them music, turn a nightgown and a roll of tinfoil into a fairy costume for party etc

(Taken from Reader Digest Nov 07 pg 81 - 83)

Really can identify with some of these qualities...esp now I have kids of different ages. Wonder how my mum cope in the earlier days of bringing us up..maybe we werent as inquisitive as the kids nowadays or we were not that demanding or ....

Thank God for all mothers. No matter whether you are SAHM, WAHM or working mums, I think u are all great : )

Busy busy ...

Find that I am constantly busy especially after moving to new house and having a newborn. Now that Naomi and Nathan are older, more time is also spent on disciplining them, stopping the fights, nagging them to do this and that instead of wasting their time etc..

Find that my time is not well spent but rather busy juggling my work and managing the kids though I have a domestic helper. Especially when the kids are having the recent school break, I find that my day passes so fast without doing anything productive (in terms completing my work or doing something worthwhile with the kids). I think WAHM (Work at Home Mum) is even tougher than a WM (Working Mum).

Upon reflecting and reading the book "Terrific Toddlers" by Mel Hayde, I realised that I probaby need a schedule for myself and to put my kids in a flexible daily routine. In the book, Mel teaches how mothers can frequently feel calm and in control and children can learn self-control when they can play independently, to share and to be polite and obey. After reading the book, I feel inspired to make a difference in my home and to allow my day to be organised and to do what I need to do as planned in a day.

This is one of my new year resolution and I will blog further next time if this is going to help.

"The Brat Pack" -- Are kids any ruder today than they were a generation ago?

A very interesting read indeed. Sarah Mahoney, in her article "The Brat Pack" (Parents, March 2007 Issue, pp 122-126), believes that there is a "manners meltdown" for today's children. One of the main reasons is that today's busy working parents are too tired to discipline their children after a hard day's work. That aggravates the children's rude behaviour because of such "permissive" response from the parents.

Some parents are also being over-protective over their kids. They think that their kids are already stressed up in their school work and it's okay for them to be occasionally rude to them or even others instead of rebuking and correcting them. Other parents are also guilty of feeding their kids with over-sized portions of self-esteem, so much so that kids have rendered themselves more superior than other kids (even adults in some circumstances) in terms of talent and other gifted abilities. The TV media has also promoted rudeness as a cool act.

In her article, she quoted experts' advice to parents to serve as role models to our children. This in fact places the children in good stead in life compared to their peers because of their ability to show empathy to others and not to develop a self-centred approach to the world. It is said that rude children are more likely to face problems in school and even cause trouble to society when they grow up.

What is mind-boggling to me is that the choice of play toys can be influential in a child's perspective of rudeness! Toys encouraging rude behaviours include th breaking of wind from a teddy bear when pressed on its tummy (it should say "excuse me" after breaking of wind), and an ice-filled water gun that makes the squirt hurt.

Sarah also urges parents to set clear standards and communicate them consistently to the children, telling them the reasons behind the rules. For example, telling them not to interupt when someone is speaking. TV programs should be selective and limited whenever possible.

Personally, I try to be consistent in my counselling of my kids. Be real patient that you may need to keep reminding your children to say "please" and "thank you", or to sit still while dining. And you know what, I think my persistence pays off. Nowadays, Naomi and Nathan are behaving much better at meal times instead of running around. The trick is to also get our domestic helper to cooperate with you to maintain consistency in your teachings.

"Kindercramming" by anxious parents

Time magazine ("Tutors for Toddlers", 3 Dec 07 issue) calls it "kindercramming" --- an obsession by anxious parents who are convicted to provide their toddlers with after-school tutoring beyond the traditional nursery education. Time attributed this toddler-tutoring frenzy to research reports advocating the essence of children entering preschools with elementary reading and math skills, which is essential for the strong foundation of success in later school years.

The article goes on to quote experts in the assessment of various pre-school teaching methods and emphasized the need for children not to have a hurried learning path but build up their skills through traditional learning-through-play programs.

For example, it says that reading specialists commented that although flash cards are used to teach letter and word recognition, young children are merely memorizing how to respond to each card --- drawing an analogy to the "paired-associate learning" syndrome which even "a pigeon can do it"! On work sheets, experts prefer the use of objects such as building blocks to "paper-and-pencil" drills in the understanding of early math concepts. Literacy skills are also opined to be more easily acquired through storytelling and exposure to a wide vocabulary, rather than through software-based learning programs.

Back at home, I use picture and word flash cards to conduct literacy lessons to my children occasionally. A few years ago, I had even bought the whole series of Glen Doman English and Chinese flash card programs but just didn't have the discipline and time to work on it on a regular basis after the initial enthusiasm.

While not doubting the need for early pre-school literacy and math skills, I somewhat agree that parents should refrain from putting too much pressure on themselves and even their children in chasing after pre-school educational fads and not understanding the unique characteristics of each child's learning preference.

Underscoring the importance of literacy and thinking skills, I believe it is one of the fundamental building blocks in the child's learning success, which will prepare him or her for other skills such as math and sciences.

Educating the kids about "Financial IQ"

Sebastian recently bought a Chinese book, titled "Dad, What is Economy?" 《富爸爸，从小学起》, from Popular Bookstore. The Taiwanese author ( 郑南求） uses easy-to-grasp concepts on the management of our finances and savings, emphasizing the importance of educating our young children on "Financial IQ". Equiping our children with good financial management skills is alleged by the author to benefit them in their future and long-term financial health.

A search on the Internet reviewed that many foreign education policies are now putting into mainstream education, a structured way of educating young children from pre-school, the essence of savings and dealing with pocket expenses. Recently, our Ministry of Education also announced plans to include "Financial IQ" in the syllabus of selected schools.

Robert Kiyosaki, a.k.a. the "millionaire teacher", tells us that it is the responsibility of the parents to teach our children about money. There is even a board game called "Cashflow for Kids" which aims to provide fun learning on money management. It seems that the greatest gift to our children is for us (as parents) to educate them on money management, thereby giving them a financial head start.

I like Bill Hogan's famous quote --- "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!". Someone then said, "Take small steps, but take them!". So whenever there is an opportunity to lead by example, let's make time to educate our children on financial awareness. After all, God has intented us to be His stewards by taking care of His possessions which He has entrusted us with. And that means, the well-being and life skills for our children too!